Some people, regardless of what they lack—money, looks, or social connections—always radiate with energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical individuals find themselves enamored with these charming personalities.
有的人，无论他们是不是缺少丰厚的财富，还是光鲜亮丽的外表，抑或是强大的人脉，他们都一直散发着精力充沛，自信心满满的气场。甚至是最吹毛求疵的人，都发现他们已经中了这类迷人个性的毒了。
These people are the life of every party. They’re the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship.
这类人是每个群体的生命力所在，也是你想探寻帮忙，征求建议和打造合作关系的对象。
You just can’t get enough of them, and they leave you asking yourself, "What do they have that I don’t? What makes them so irresistible?"
你就是没办法抗拒他们，并且他们的存在还会叫你不由自主地问自己：“到底他们有的什么东西是我没的?为何他们这样叫人没办法抗拒?”
The difference? Their sense of self|worth comes from within.
你们有什么区别是什么?答案是，他们由内而外的自我价值感。
Irresistible people aren’t constantly searching for validation, because they’re confident enough to find it in themselves. There are certain habits they pursue every day to maintain this healthy perspective.
有魔力的人并不常常需要其他人的一定，由于他们的自信足以让他们从自己找到收获感。他们都有天天为之努力的追求，以维持健康的心态。
Since being irresistible isn’t the result of dumb luck, it’s time to study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit.
当你意识到这种迷人的个性并非天上掉下的馅饼，那样你就应该从这类散发迷人魔力的人身上认真学习他们的习惯了，还能为己所用呢。
Get ready to say “hello” to a new, more irresistible you.
筹备跟一个全新的，更迷人的你说声“你好”吧。
1.They treat everyone with respect.
1. 无论是哪个，同等尊重。
Whether interacting with their biggest client or a server taking their drink order, irresistible people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that—no matter how nice they are to the person they’re having lunch with—it’s all for naught if that person witnesses them behaving badly toward someone else. Irresistible people treat everyone with respect because they believe they’re no better than anyone else.
无论是与最位高网站权重的顾客交际，还是给员工下餐单，万人迷总能同等看待地维持礼貌和尊重。他们非常了解地了解，无论他们多么的友善地对待一同就餐的伙伴，假如让他们看到了你对别的人却是颐指气使，那样这所有将会是徒劳无功的。有魔力的人对待每一个人都是那样的尊重有礼，由于他们觉得每一个人都是平等的。
2.They follow the platinum rule.
2. 遵守“白金法则”。
The Golden Rule—treat others as you want to be treated—has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things. One person loves public recognition, while another loathes being the center of attention.
“黄金法则”指的是：对待别人好似你一个人想被对待的样子，但这有一个致命的缺点：由于这觉得所有人都期望以同样的方法对待。这就忽视了人随事情而变的重点了。由于在某一种状况下他期望获得公众的关注，而在别的场所则不想成为关注的焦点。
The Platinum Rule—treat others as they want to be treated—corrects that flaw. Irresistible people are great at reading other people, and they adjust their behavior and style to make others feel comfortable.
而“白金法则”是：对待别人的方法，就是别人期望被对待的方法，这就弥补了缺点了。万人迷擅长读取别人的内心所想，然后再调整我们的行为方法让别人感觉到舒服。
3.They ditch the small talk.
3. 他们也会闲聊。
There’s no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming during a conversation than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach people with small talk this puts their brains on auTOPilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Irresistible people create connection and find depth even in short, every day conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told to other important facets of the speaker’s life.
没比闲聊更能毁掉交谈中产生情感联系的办法了。当你像机器人一样生硬地与其他人闲聊，其他人只能感觉死板无趣，也不可以与你打造多亲密的联系。而万人迷则不同，他们非常擅长打造联系，甚至能从天天的短暂闲聊中发现深度的东西。他们对其他人真诚的关注可以让他们很轻松地提出好问题，还能把交谈内容联系到他们日常的其他方面。
4.They focus on people more than anything else.
4. 比别的人更关注“人”。
Irresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they don’t spend much time thinking about themselves. They don’t obsess over how well they’re liked, because they’re too busy focusing on the people they’re with. It’s what makes their irresistibility seem so effortless.
万人迷对身边的人都维持真正的兴趣，这就致使了他们极少为自己着想。他们不会沉迷于自己有多出色，由于他们花太多时间在身边的人身上了。这也就致使他们的不可抗拒性看着是这样的毫不费劲了。
To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smart phone and focusing on the people you’re with. Focus on what they’re saying, not what your response will be, or how what they’re saying will affect you. When people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open|ended questions to draw them out even more.
把这种习惯应用起来，然后放手你的手机，多关心身边的人。注意他们说话的内容，而不是你的回话，或他们的话对你的影响。当其他人跟你倾诉他一个人的事情的时候，多提出开放式的问题让他们给你更多信息。
5.They don’t try too hard.
5. 他们不是“拼命三郎”。
Irresistible people don’t dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are. It’s not that they’re resisting the urge to brag. The thought doesn’t even occur to them because they know how unlikeable people are who try too hard to get others to like them.
万人迷不会用华丽的故事吹嘘我们的收获来获得交谈的主动权。这并非由于他们在抑制吹嘘的欲望，而是他们甚至没想过这件事，由于他们了解，那些挖空心思成为与他们一样的人是多么的不讨喜。
6.They recognize the difference between fact and opinion.
6. 可以不同事实与看法的差异。
Irresistible people handle controversial TOPics and touchy subjects with grace and poise. They don’t shrink from sharing their opinions, but they make it clear that they’re opinions, not facts. Whether discussing global warming, politics, vaccine schedules, or GMO foods, irresistible people recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they are see things differently.
万人迷可以高雅平静地处置所有纷争与敏锐话题。他们不吝推荐我们的看法，但他们会强调这类都只不过看法，而不是事实。无论谈论的话题是气候变暖，国家政治，还是疫苗接种程序，或者是转基因食品，万人迷都能认清智商水平相当的人都有每个都不一样的看法的事实。
7.They are authentic.
7. 他们非常真诚。
Irresistible people are who they are. Nobody has to burn up energy or brainpower trying to guess their agenda or predict what they’ll do next. They do this because they know that no one likes a fake.
万人迷就是他们自己。其他人无需花尽心思去揣测他们下面的计划是什么。他们这么真实，是由于他们了解无人喜欢虚伪的人。
People gravitate toward authentic individuals because they know they can trust them. It’s easy to resist someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel.
大家都受真诚的人吸引，那是由于他们了解这类人值得信赖。当你没办法真正地认识一个人，也没办法感受他的真实所想的时候，你非常难与他交往。
8.They have integrity.
8. 他们都言行一致。
People with high integrity are irresistible because they walk their talk, plain and simple. Integrity is a simple concept but a difficult thing to practice. To demonstrate integrity every day, irresistible people follow through, they avoid talking bad about other people, and they do the right thing, even when it hurts.
诚实正直的人常常都非常受青睐，那是由于他们可以履行承诺，踏实，简单。言行一致说起来非常简单，但实践起来非常难。万人迷天天都维持言行一致，防止说其他人的坏话，甚至在导致伤害时也能非常不错地处置。
9.They smile.
9. 维持笑容。
People naturally mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to find you irresistible, smile at them during conversations and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result.
大家常常会自然地深思他们交谈时的肢体语言。假如你想给吸引别人，那样在交谈的时候多微笑，然后他们就会无意识地给你相应的反馈并且感觉好。
10.They make an effort to look their best .
10.适度维持我们的最好状况。
There’s a massive difference between being presentable and being vain. Irresistible people understand that making an effort to look your best is comparable to cleaning your house before company comes—it’s a sign of respect for others. But once they’ve made themselves presentable, they sTOP thinking about it.
光洁体面与奢华虚荣之间的差别是很大的。万人迷可以了解认识，花点心思维持最好状况就好比同事到家做客前的大扫除——都是对别人的尊重。不过一旦他们形成这种光彩照人的习惯，他们就不必再花费心思在这上面了。
11.They find reasons to love life.
11. 探寻生活的乐趣，热爱生活。
Irresistible people are positive and passionate. They’re never bored, because they see life as an amazing adventure and approach it with a joy that other people want to be a part of.
万人迷都是积极乐观，充满激情的。他们从来不会感到疲惫，由于他们把生活当作一次奇妙的冒险旅程，并携带快乐去探索，感染身边的人，以致其他人也想成为其中的一员。
It’s not that irresistible people don’t have problems—even big ones—but they approach problems as temporary obstacles, not inescapable fate. When things go wrong, they remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they keep hope that tomorrow or next week or next month will be better.
然而万人迷并非没烦恼的，甚至是非常紧急的烦恼，但他们把这类烦恼当作暂时性的障碍，而不是不可摆脱的命。当事情乱了套，他们会提醒自己，糟糕的一天也只不过一天而已，他们仍然会对明天或下周，或下个月充满期望，相信所有会好起来。
Bringing it all together.
小结
Irresistible people did not have fairy godmothers hovering over their cribs. They’ve simply perfected certain appealing qualities and habits that anyone can adopt as their own.They think about other people more than they think about themselves, and they make other people feel liked, respected, understood, and seen. Just remember: the more you focus on others, the more irresistible you’ll be.
万人迷没仙女教母为他们摇摇蓝，他们只是健全了某些吸引人的特质和习惯，其实每一个人都可以借鉴。他们在乎别人多于在乎自己，他们努力让别人感觉到喜欢，尊重，理解和关注。仅需记住：你越注意别人，你就越有魔力。
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（编辑：何莹莹）
